Not belonging … is another problem we face, especially in the third world countries. Many people have some kind of presumption, when they first meet you; accordingly, you will fit or you don’t. People here judge you for not being … them!! Maybe it is strange, but it is true. Various examples can show us this ugly reality.
She is outgoing woman and love to live her life. She doesn’t care about the societies values and conditions, because she thinks it is old fashion and don’t fit in our modern life. She wears differently and speaks in different way too. She has her master degree now and looking to continue her study. She is a creative person and so successful in her work. She attend parties and share her friends their good and bad moments. She is a supportive and a cooperative woman but unfortunately, she doesn’t fit. The society judged her as out-of-place person, can’t be treated as respectful woman too. She is condemned to be indecorous woman; accordingly, she shouldn’t be allowed to inter the family’s houses, in order not to spread her outgoing thoughts. Simply … she doesn’t belong.
He is a very respectful person; he believes that life is the most precious thing we have. Lands are just another kind of properties and what matters is the people who live on this land. He supports the non-violation actions against occupation; also he believes and supports the human rights. He treats women as they should be treated, because he is gender oriented. He writes about all kind of rights and the most important thing for him is the right to choose. He is condemned to be weak and unfaithful to the case, as well, he is judged to be US oriented. Ultimately, he is out and doesn’t fit the society he lives within, so he doesn’t belong.
An employee works hard to feed his family; he can’t take a breath even. He loves almost everyone and knows what it means to be a team player. He is creative and self motivated, also he is loyal and sincere. One day he was asked by some colleagues to go and pray with them the Friday’s prayer (as it is known by that) but he replied that he doesn’t pray at all. The shock and the dismayed can be seen obviously on their faces. They couldn’t believe that he doesn’t pray and also he never thought of that. He was condemned by them and they told him that he doesn’t belong. He can stay at work and can do his job but he can’t be one of them because of his thoughts and ideas; which they never heard!
I have a lot of stories that shows this kind of attitude, which is captured by the societies, individuals and even the states. Not belonging is the easy way to say that we are against anything that is different. It is the easy way to condemn instead of being creative and innovative. Judging people for their thoughts, color, attitudes, religion and gender and even for their choices of music and movies; it seems easier than thinking why they are different??
Change is coming despite everything, nobody can stop changes and of course we don’t want to stop it; we need to moderate it and control it. We shouldn’t leave the change to take place without having our words towards it. We need to control the change and orient it in order to reach our ultimate goals. Don’t stand in front of the change and condemn because you have an earlier presumption! Go for the change and negotiate and argue … maybe you can convince or been convinced.
To be my self - kholoud Baddar - 
hello my friend … happay new year … no body can translate his own ideas and belifes over the society tradations and norms …. it is very sweet essay and go ahead … thanks
Hey Raafat, Happy new year.
The norms and values of any society is the collaboration of the individual’s values and norms. So, of course, any individual can change these norms when he changes his own. The change starts as drop in the sea, then it becomes as waves. So, if you want to change any society, just start with its main element … individuals.
Thanks a lot dear … wish to hear from you always
One of the most important thing that the Palestinian society master is the criticism, we cicatrize every thing that encircle us even though we don’t have any thing to criticize we start criticizing our self .Hopefully, changes will change us the right way and make from us indulgent toward each others.
Rafat … unfortunately you are right. We don’t know what the meaning of constructive criticism is. We want to criticize others …. just for criticizing. We need to be more tolerant and to accept others, even if they are so different. Different doesn’t mean bad at all, it means another way of doing things; another way of thinking and living. …
to be yourself is not an easy task. not in any society. for instance people change style of their clothes according to changes around them. changes can be triggered by many factors, most important fashion designers. However, western countries managed to develop bigger space for individual freedom of choice. Or at least developed a wide varied choices. If you speak regarding the Arab world, and the Palestinians in particular. I believe we live a more complex situation. Firstly, we still did not reach the liberal age of ideas that Europe and the US know. Second, we did not reach this level for many reasons, among it that we suffered the Ottoman and European occupations for many years, and because of the American sponsorship for conservative groups during the Soviet era. Thirdly, because of the Israeli occupation that made many people think of paths of liberation from occupation more than thinking of liberating themselves. It seems many believes that the “group liberation” has priority to the “individual liberation”. Because of the Palestinian issue and to face Israel and the American sponsorship it enjoys, Arabs in the 1960s opted for the Socialist choice, (to balance the US) . Socialism does not believe that much with the right of being different. And when Socialism failed, religion appeared in a style that is tougher in refusing individuals right of choice.
I believe in liberalism and the right of being different but I believe occupation, Arab regimes, and the beg States, who claim being liberal are reasons to make our mind occupied with issues related to the group and its survive, and to be part of it to get its approval and protection, and not to our rights within the group. And we will refuse people want to be themselves.
Dr. Ahmad, thank you for the useful historical information, which shows us the actual reality behind being like that. I totally agree with you but still I blame our societies and our people too. We always find so many reasons why we act like this, but we never try to fix things even when we find out it is wrong. Also, the Arab regimes or even the Muslims world never talked about the individual rights or the freedom of choice. For them it is the role of the society in order to control and direct the public within the regimes. So it is not to be against or defend the Arab world from the Western countries only. It is also a tool to control the public and keep them under the regimes occupation … meaning dictatorship. So it every one’s fault and we have to fight in order just to be ourselves.
Thanks again for your wonderful and useful comment
Without a doubt, this is one perspective of seeing it. But all in all, the conclusion seems to put the bricks for a pretty solid theory.